This post was inspired by Sonia at Buzymum: 6 Ways To Change Mr.No-Mummy into Mr.Yes-Mummy! who had linked up at #FabFridayPost Linky #69.
She points out 6 inspirational tips to how to deal with kids when it come down to being firm.
This has got me thinking back on what had happened today. Inside a busy Marks & Spencer Evelyn and I entered, and she was almost immediately faced with a gigantic Frozen Castle Easter Eggs style on the shelf and it was within her reach! She instantly grabbed it and said:
“I want it!”
I knelt down and said to her calmly as I can that she can’t have it as it is not her birthday yet and she won’t get a birthday party otherwise. Then I pulled a said face at her. She quickly snapped back at me:
“No! I DON’T want a birthday party! I want this!” She stomp her feet hard against the ground and moving a step back away from me.
I took a deep breath and in a deep voice, I told her to listen to mummy again and repeated what I had just said before plus…
“But there will be no friends coming to your party anymore because you won’t have a birthday party anymore.” Then I re-enacted my sad face at her once again.
In the past, she would have just sat down on the floor and cried loudly as she could. I would have to carried her forcefully outside through the thick crowd of customers to calm her down outside – in freezing cold temperature!
But today, I made a breakthrough. She said slowly with a sad voice:
“But I want a party…”
I could see her hands dropping the Frozen Castle Easter Eggs down in slow motion. I opened my hand and she gave it to me. Horrah!
It felt Amazing!! I wanted to jump and dance – but just in case I would hyper up my soon to be threeanger again (Sob!), I just told her that she was a good listener and that she has listen well to mummy. I put back the Froze Castle back on the shelf and reached out my hand to her. She accepted my hand and we continued to shop M&S in peace. Fewww!
So that’s my #1,2 & 4 points referring to Sonia’s post a nutshell!
1. Stick to your guns.
2. If you say no to me, I’m going to say no to you.
3. Try to avoid questions and use statements instead.
Please do pop over to Sonia’s blog for more great tips.
Like Soina, if you have any tips to share, I need all of the help I can get!! If not, please send wine! xx
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This post is linked with… #TheList
Su blogs at Ethan & Evelyn. Ethan (7) & Evelyn (4) are her children. Her blog was originally an online diary but quickly transformed. She blogs about their life adventures of her experiences of motherhood, lifestyle, food, crafts, and travel. Her blog was awarded the Coupon Machine Travel Blog Top100 (#37) in 2016. The #MadBlogAwards 2016 Nominated for Best Craft Blog, Best Family Travel Blog, and Best Preschool Blog. She is a now a Freelance Writer, a Photographer, Co-creator of #ExplorerKids IG community. Host of #FabFridayPost and #ExplorerKids Linkys. And a Kids Yoga Teacher too! Connect with her on Twitter & Instagram @ethannevelyn
I’m dreading this when my boy is older. He’s 14 months at the moment and can have a good strop, but I know it’s nothing compared to what it could possibly be when hes older. I’m going to have to remember these tips 🙂 #FabFridayPost
Author
These are great tips and it really works. I’m dreading the teenage years too! x
With two little threenagers I can so relate
#fabfriday
Author
I can even handle one. You are indeed a supermum! x
Oh can relate to this so much!!It’s like I’m constantly saying no at the moment and then it’s all ‘you’re such a mean mummy!’ being thrown in my face. 🙁
Author
I know what you mean. Muumy guilt after… xx
Well done for turning this around! Now that my four are above the age of 3 and in school/daycare most days, I have the luxury of shopping by myself, thus avoiding these situations. xx
#FabFridayPost
Author
Oh! Luxury time – I am so looking forward to it. x
Hi, these are great tips especially number two If you say no to me, I’m going to say no to you #FabFridayPost
Author
I’m so glad this is working for us. Evelyn can be a bit of a handful! lol! x
Ah, it was a beautiful time for me when my kids finally got the whole cause-and-effect thing! Life should get much easier for here on out (except for the days when she’ll backslide, because boy, does that happen too)! #FabFridayPost
Author
lol! I long for a perfect day. xx
I so need these tips! We’ve got Harry about to turn three in May and with Megan already three, and Eva just three before her, these threenage years have dragged!! I would love to say that four is easier but I’m really not sure it is, I’m hoping five is! #fabfridaypost
Author
I really do admire you! What a supermum you are! xx
Ah yes, the wonderful age of 3…it follows so closely on all the tantrums of 2. I have 3 over 3 now, and one 2 year old, and one new baby due any day now. Being firm is so important. If the kiddos don’t learn any boundaries now, they’ll run all over everyone and hurt themselves when they get older. These moments are so hard!
Author
Wow! You are such an amazing women! I do try but they can be such a handful at times. Looking forward to seeing your new baby soon. x
We use the same tactics here. Luckily my eldest has never been the type to throw himself on the floor in a tantrum but my youngest already has it down to a tea so I am not looking too far into the future with this one lol #fabfridaypost
Author
You are so lucky! Such a good boy! x
This is great! It just goes to show calm and reason can defuse a tantrum before it really starts! (not every time, I know!) I always try to use this method and know that when I don’t react by listening but snap etc then I get a more negative result, it has really taught me patience! xx #fabfridaypost
Author
Patience is so precious. I need to practice lots of patience. lol! x
I remember reading that post ages ago. It was really good. I’m glad you were able to make it work in a real life situation. #FabFridayPost
Author
Thank you. It’s trying times. xx
I am definitely going to try this out! I am glad it worked for you, sounds way better than the alternative x #FabFridayPost
Author
Lots of patience practice. lol! x
I definitely need to stick to my guns more! You did well! 🙂 Result! #FabFridayPost
Author
Thank you Sinead. I do try. xx
I had something similar in the chemist last week, when my 2 year old picked up a my little pony soft toy and refused to put it back. I stuck to my guns, explained that she couldn’t have it and then let her hold it until we had paid for the things we were buying then she had to put it back. Luckily she went along with that! x #TheList
Author
Good on you! So glad it worked. There are times when they try to push the boundaries don’t they. x
Lovely tips! My baby is not on that stage yet but it’s good to know how to react in the future
#FabFridayPost
Author
Enjoy this stage. xx
I loved Sonia’s post too. Well done for averting a meltdown x
#FabFridayPost
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Thanks Alana. I do try. xx
I gotta say, this works in business too! 🙂 #FabFridayPost
Author
Oh yes! lol! Good training from a very young age. x
You have to become a very goof negotiator when you have kids! Sarah #FabFridayPost
Author
Yes indeed! lol! xx